The Latte Mommy: I only lost my glasses today!!

The Latte Mommy: I only lost my glasses today!!: T his day is really strange, well i guess the past two. Ive been awake for awhile, not quite sure how long, Last week i was really sick, cau...

I only lost my glasses today!!

This day is really strange, well i guess the past two. Ive been awake for awhile, not quite sure how long, Last week i was really sick, caught something from my son and basically slept for 3 days straight. So naturally now im awake. Naturally for me that is. Besides the fact that my ADHD really interferes with a normal schedule of any kind for me, i also have a sleep/wake disorder.  Actually its called Delayed Sleep Wake Disorder and it often accompanies ADHD. Apparently its a real disability. Its just that I cant sleep when im supposed to , sleep better in early morning to afternoon, and often stay up for a day or two and make up for it by sleeping 12+ hours the next day. Its compared to living with 6 hours jet lag all the time. Nice lol. Anyway, i feel pretty good today, I really dont mind being awake alot because its when i can be productive and actually get things done. I have a to do list that is just enourmous and overwhelming to me. Even accomplishing one or two things a day for me is great. I struggle with that every day. The guilt of not being productive, its hard to deal with. Its not like i can just DO IT. It seems that should be true but its not. 
Aside from the fact of losing , i mean misplacing , my new glasses, ive been pretty focused today! lol
xoxo

The Latte Mommy: Head is spinning.

The Latte Mommy: Head is spinning.: Once again, i ask myself the question, why is life so hard? Or at least for me. I get so tired of my mind spinning and spinning trying to fi...

Head is spinning.

Once again, i ask myself the question, why is life so hard? Or at least for me. I get so tired of my mind spinning and spinning trying to figure out the answers. Nothing is ever easy, its always a chore, just to get the easy things in life accomplished. Im trying to go back to school, taking online classes- its so hard,considering ive been out of school for like 15 yrs at least. And the procrastinator that i am , im always underestimating the time i need to complete assignments so they are either late or i miss turning them in. Its not that i cant do the work, its my lack of organizational skills and my procrastination. Im scared ill never amount to anything at this point. Being out on unemployment makes me never want to work again. But im not rich and money from my late husband wasnt left to me last minute. He had some birdies in his dying ear so his girlfriend got 50k, and of course my boys have a trust. We werent divorced, just seperated but still loved each other. Its a long disgusting story of how people take advantage of dying people. To his dying day i took care of him, and was with him in the hospital that night. We had discussed it and he was leaving me money to cover all of our marital debt and so that the boys and I would have somewhere secure to always live, but like i said, things changed last minute when his girlfriend was a witness to his will, the one he made less than 48 hours before he died, and he was in no shape to make a will. But i wouldnt , didnt, couldnt fight the will. It was his last words, and who was i to fight it, besides his wife and mother to his children!! It wasn't in me tho. So i remain poor , living in debt with nothing to my name. Besides that, im scared of what lies ahead of me. Does anything? Im scared to fail school, be a nothing. My fear and anxiety overwhelm me at times. But i never let it show , to anyone. Being a single parent is very scary, and it pisses me off, i didnt sign up for this. Its no ones fault and there is no one to blame and I think that is why i get so aggravated
Enough bitching. I will overcome this like always, im just scared and anxious and tonight my head is spinning. Had to vent. 
xoxo.

Money makes my world go round

Well here I am , im using my new samsung galaxy notepad. Myself being an apple person its somewhat difficult to work with this. I love it but I still need to get used to it. Ive been spending alot of money lately , hencd the samsung lol. Its money I earned and im only spending alot in the beginning and then ill stop and invest some so I have some for retirement. But ill tell you spending money is such a high for me. Its just a feeling I get that is irreplaceable. So anyways I bought alot. I also finished school shopping for the boys. And really I can do my xmas shopping now  usually I get it finished on xmas eve lol but this year I can be on the ball. Everything else in life is status quo. I really need to work on my schoolwork and commit more to it  ive slept so much the past couple of days so now ill be up for a few. Its such a crazy to live but my body clock has changed. Another goal to work on. Ill put it on my to do list. Im sure I have more than one app here on my new tablet lol.
Hugs xoxo

The Latte Mommy: Stand up for yourself!

The Latte Mommy: Stand up for yourself!: why in the world would any woman let themselves be controlled by a man.  I dont understand, i do understand how people change, they may have...

Stand up for yourself!

why in the world would any woman let themselves be controlled by a man.  I dont understand, i do understand how people change, they may have not always have been a controlling man but then turned into one and you got blindsided. I can understand how you can love someone and want them to change, thinking they will lose their controlling ways, i can understanding that people get in bad , hard situations in life and lose alot, therefore depending on their man. Really we are all a step away from poverty, bad things happen and if you dont have a skill, a great job or a hefty savings account, you could be on the street. No one wants to be in a controlling relationship, i know people get used to it and its all they know so it really doesnt seem so bad. But COME ON, as a woman who is independant as hell, i cant see how anyone can let themselves be controlled by a man, who their friends are, where they can go, how long they can be out, always being watched, video taped, easdropped on, as if their mate should know their every movement and feeling. As individuals we are allowed to have our own ideas, our own voice and pretty much in any relationship we should be able to come and go as we please. If your mate is doing something bad, or you think they are cheating, they are going to do it whether you are watching them like big brother or not. Its just insane, the advances women have made, its like the stone ages. In my life so far, 41 years, ive NEVER depended on a man. Im independent and i love it. The minute i got in that kind of relationship, id be out the door. kids in tow.  With all the people in the world ,, we should all be happy, this is all there is. no repeats, you have to do it right, And with women banding together and helping each other get out of bad relationships and on the road to living alone , getting their life in order, it shouldnt be too hard. Alone, yes but with friends and family, its possible. I just am at the point in my life that i see life is precious and i would never ever live with someone i hate, or just pacify anyone. No one cares about you like you care about yourself.