Fall is where my memories are

I cant wait for fall/winter. I love that time of year, with the yellow/orange/red leaves on the trees and on the ground , and the crisp chill in the air - how you can see your breath when its cold. I guess right prior to Halloween i start to feel it. There have been many a year i even tried to rush the holiday by putting out my Halloween decorations really early like Sept. lol. I think ill stick to Oct 1st this year, Thats right around the corner anyway. I dont know what we will do this year. The boys are 11 and 14 and even last year they really werent that interested in trick or treating. I made them go out with some friends of ours, it wasnt bad but it certainly wasnt the same as it used to be.
Every time i think of Halloween i think of me and mike dressing the boys up, I remember N was a clown one year, C was a transformer and when he was a baby, i dressed him up as a little duck. He looked so cute. We lived in an awesome neighborhood with a bunch of couples our age with children the same age. I mean like us and 7 other couples. It was so fun and i should have appreciated it more then but i have the memories. One of us would take the kids around the cul de sac and the other - usually me - would hand out candy at the door. ah the memories. Thinking of that, i cant believe still that mike isnt here and i get pissed at the unfairness of it all. I wish the boys remembered all those times, i guess thats what im here for! 
Anyway, i cant wait for fall. 
xoxo

Night ramblings and such...

Well this day felt like a waste. I thought id sleep after i dropped the kids off at bus stop so i came home and got on the couch with my blanket and layed there lol. I couldnt sleep! I tried and tossed and turned and i still couldnt sleep. My body was trying to sleep b/c i kept waking myself up by talking out loud!! I do that all the time, talk in my sleep. BUt i was waking up saying parts of sentences and moving my hands and then realizing i wasnt talking to anyone and faded out again. So i guess i was in some kind of sleep mode. HAHHA . So i was up and down and then fell asleep for a little late afternoon. Now im up again!
So i got some stuff done, still have alot to do. Unload dishwasher, wash, bills, etc. I have to stay up tomorrow am for a doctors appt at 10. Plus since i work sat am i want to be able to nap tomorrow later or go to bed early. YEAH RIGHT!! Sounded good
Keep getting these news alerts on some act of "terrorism" thats planned to happen on 9/11. There was a press conference but i missed it. I hate this shit. Not like i think my suburb in Pa is in trouble but you just NEVER know what could happen . I'll be working on sunday 9/11. I wont be with the boys until that night. Probably better that way. Keep my mind busy. Its not like i really worry much but i feel like id be stupid not to think about it.
Ok i took a small break, did some work. Eww i saw a cricket. It is so freakin humid and gross out. I hate hate hate this time of year. Bring me oct/nov/dec. Those are my fav's. orange leaves, smell of crispness in the air, mums, pumpkins, and the end of all the nasty little creatures. I live in a pretty wooded area and see Deer allll  the time. They are pretty. I love bunnies and deer etc but not little bugs and icky spiders and stuff. And my dumb cats dont even do anything, they make me get the bugs. So i got the vacuum out and sucked the cricket up!! Thats the only way i can deal with bugs lol. Im an ICU nurse and can deal with allll kinds of stuff -= but not crickets haha.
Oh well, ttyl.
HUGS