when did everyone become so ungrateful

I am in a miserable mood. Its like my ADD is in full swing. I have 100 things i want to do at once. so many great ideas, then i attempt to start one of them and i become bored, so i think ok now on to the next  and that too, becomes no fun. So im left with a few started projects and a mess. even trying to organize my stuff turns ugly.

you know i hate getting caught up in the moment of things and then you look back at it and realize, it wasnt that big of a deal. I mean my kids and our wellbeing are the most important things to me. then comes my job, etc.  So when something bad happens to me, i let it bother me wayyy too much. I try and be strong, hold back the emotions that i used to not feel. I used to be icy, my family called me "the ice princess". ahh back in the day. Now every now and then i get all mushy and i cry at reruns of Grays Anatomy. and daydream of babies and little girls with pink bows in their hair. I love my boys!! So now sometimes the emotions sneak through and its so not worth it. People dont need to see me cry or sweat. because "this too shall pass"  . Anyway its hard to recover and put your pride back on. but after all, i know im a good nurse, i know im a good person, i dont need to feel small b/c of a few little things, that in the scheme of saving life, really have nothing to do with it, and its a shame people dont realize that anymore. Ungrateful!
enough bitching!! hey AT LEAST I HAVE A JOB, RIGHT? LOL

I didnt really like this day!!

Usually Fridays are tolerable but today kinda sucked. First off, i slept alot- i wasnt even that tired , just seemed easy. The boys were involved in their video games etc and woke up late themselves. I missed an appointment and didnt call the doctor like i needed to. I basically swept all my responsibility under the rug as i often do.  I've got to stop that, im the only responsible , well the only parent they have. I cant mess up and fix it later. Later is too late. I feel like i barely saw them this week, well with me going away and then i had to bring them to BIL's house tonight cause i work this weekend, the usual.  I'll have to make next week a priority for them, and for me.
Got a message on the home phone from the principal of the boys school. It was that "end of summer" pre recorded message. Geez, summer flew by. I wanted it to be special, well do some fun things , we did but not nearly as much as i had planned on. We all have alot to do to get ready for school. Mostly me, the boys need to finish readings and do some math. I , on the other hand, need to go through our "homework box" . This big box of school supplies, i made it in my trials of ADD research. I bought 2 new baskets for the stuff and need to go through it and transfer, clean , throw out, etc. I have to really get my butt moving when it comes to Nicholas and his "IEP" . Its a private school so its not an iep but its similar, since his diagnosis of ADD at the end of the school year. Teachers and I are working together to help plan this year for him. This is something that is very important and i cant slack. Then i need to really keep an eye on the younger one, well i need to get him evaluated for things, but ive been slacking. I promise ill make all my calls on MONDAY.
So anyhow, i didnt do much of anything today, and of course now im awake, and trying to be as productive as one can possibly be at 1am. OHH gotta pay my car bill, thanks for reminding me!!  And then the glorious next 2 days of Hell, i mean work, sorry, slip up!! I hope its not a bad weekend, not too stressful please, i like the exciting sick people ICU stuff, but the emotional drama and family shit just stresses me out and its not a good stress. Its the kind where you just wanna shout " GET OUT" . Yeah i wish. We definately need visiting hours again. Got rid of them years ago, makes the family feel better and i told you about how important the family, not the patient, is. So they can come and go as they please all freaking day long. No privacy for any other patients nor for us the nurses. One day i know it will change back, dont know if ill be doing bedside care then but it will still be an achievement in my eyes.
OK, gonna keep on moving.
HUGS