Friday, March 21, 2014

Washing this feeling off of me.

As time goes by, i guess the burn isnt as bitter, isnt as fresh, but its still there. Some people just dont give up. There are alot of things that have happened in the past 9 months that are still stinging. I guess i needed to get burnt in order to believe it for myself. In order to know that i did all i could, to change things for the better. All i could to not believe in pathological liars, to believe that how some things that seemed so innocent yet so jaded were beyond my trying ways. Im trying not to ponder on this too long and really this is the only place i get to vent about it, in the  anonomys  world of my blog. So for now, im really trying to just come to terms with the situation, along with many other ones that have passed my way, and feel completely over it.  It just seems as soon as im ready to let it go, another piece of new bullshit comes at me, and im taken aback, im telling you i actually start to feel physically sick in my stomach and so hopeless that there are real people out there.  its a very alone feeling.  and i dont want to feel this  way anymore.  I want to feel normal. whatever that may be.  I want a do over. i want to see it for what it was from day one. It really makes me sad, especially when its 5am and I cant sleep yet im exhausted and my mind plays tricks on me. Its always worse than it really is. Well ive said my piece this night and i need to wash my mind of it right now and change my tune. Get this sickening feeling off of me. Good luck with that , eh lol.