Friday, April 4, 2014

Rain rain go away.

Somehow this always happens. No matter how much money I have I'm always paying bills when I get the notice that they are going to disconnect and turn off my services. It's like I feel untouchable and then find out I'm the same as every other person out there. At least in one way or another! Money is so tight right now. Some\/ I mean every day I wonder how I'm going to make out. My doctor says back surgery is an option that I really need to explore. Only thing is I have a few areas on my spine and then he said there is a chance the surgery won't work at all. I'm scared of anything touching my spine  sounds weird but that's me. So I guess those 18 years of nursing really did a number on me. Just turned 42 and I never expected that I would be in this place. Just a little rant , in which I could go on and on with different subject matter but I'll save that for a rainy day. I think it's supposed to rain all day tomorrow lol. So get ready! !! lol.
Xoxo hugs
T.

Friday, March 21, 2014

The Latte Mommy: Washing this feeling off of me.

The Latte Mommy: Washing this feeling off of me.: As time goes by, i guess the burn isnt as bitter, isnt as fresh, but its still there. Some people just dont give up. There are alot of thing...

Washing this feeling off of me.

As time goes by, i guess the burn isnt as bitter, isnt as fresh, but its still there. Some people just dont give up. There are alot of things that have happened in the past 9 months that are still stinging. I guess i needed to get burnt in order to believe it for myself. In order to know that i did all i could, to change things for the better. All i could to not believe in pathological liars, to believe that how some things that seemed so innocent yet so jaded were beyond my trying ways. Im trying not to ponder on this too long and really this is the only place i get to vent about it, in the  anonomys  world of my blog. So for now, im really trying to just come to terms with the situation, along with many other ones that have passed my way, and feel completely over it.  It just seems as soon as im ready to let it go, another piece of new bullshit comes at me, and im taken aback, im telling you i actually start to feel physically sick in my stomach and so hopeless that there are real people out there.  its a very alone feeling.  and i dont want to feel this  way anymore.  I want to feel normal. whatever that may be.  I want a do over. i want to see it for what it was from day one. It really makes me sad, especially when its 5am and I cant sleep yet im exhausted and my mind plays tricks on me. Its always worse than it really is. Well ive said my piece this night and i need to wash my mind of it right now and change my tune. Get this sickening feeling off of me. Good luck with that , eh lol. 
T. 

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

The Latte Mommy: Not as innocent as they seem.

The Latte Mommy: Not as innocent as they seem.: Looking back at 2013 its hard to believe i really only blogged less than 100 times. Alot happened but i guess i just wanted to keep it to my...

Not as innocent as they seem.

Looking back at 2013 its hard to believe i really only blogged less than 100 times. Alot happened but i guess i just wanted to keep it to myself.  There is a question i have that has really been bugging me, even more so this past year. Why is it that the people you give to the most, end up stealing from you.  I would think that if someone is giving you cart blanch e to their stuff, whether it be money, belongings etc., that you would just stay friends, or close to that person knowing you would reap the rewards of just being a good friend etc. Maybe its because the person knows that you give so freely and figures, it must not be that important to you, so why not take as you feel the need. That is an asinine idea, but hey, thieves aren't always the smartest.  Really if and when you find out that the person is stealing from you, which by the way, you always find out, the supply comes to a quick end.. There are multiple people ive come across that i guess ive given too much to, so much that its not appreciated. I guess i don't mind sharing because we are all in places when we need, when we don't have a  lot, and like i said, i don't mind sharing but i do mind getting taken advantage of, which happens more so than not. I always figured karma would do its job but so far, im just more in the hole with my goods. Im learning that this world sucks. People aren't as they portray. The mask always comes off, whether it be one week or one year. Its not making me give less, its just making me look at people and maybe don't give them the benefit of the doubt but make them work for it. Its not innocent until proven guilty anymore. its a shame!

Saturday, February 8, 2014

The Latte Mommy: Still gonna be me!!

The Latte Mommy: Still gonna be me!!: Here i am again, still pondering my decisions, replaying shit in my head, to say, "OHHH that's what that was all about!"  Enou...

Still gonna be me!!

Here i am again, still pondering my decisions, replaying shit in my head, to say, "OHHH that's what that was all about!"  Enough said, i just decided that im not going to let the liars etc people in this world change me. Im not going to turn into the bitch i should become. I will continue to help those in need, i just have to weed the bad ones out, make it more of a process than just jumping in without my life jacket on.  Im just going to continue to be me, that's who i want to be, that's who im comfortable teaching my children who i am. Continuing to be the role model that i have become . Just knowing that my children and my CLOSE friends know can look up to me and think, wow, we all have tough shitty lives and bad things happen to both good and bad people, But, we don't have to become one of them. We can keep on going and achieve great things. I've got to get back to life again, continue my classes for my masters, teach my kids at home and in this shitty life, realize that making people feel good makes me feel good, maybe that's why i am a nurse. A caregiver, not everyone is appreciative but just that one that is can make your day. So sappy i know. 
HUGS 
T.