Sunday, September 25, 2016

The Latte Mommy: NOT AGAIN< PLEASE

The Latte Mommy: NOT AGAIN< PLEASE: Ill tell you  i really didn't need this right now. It's the same old shit, different day. Just when you think things are gonna calm ...

NOT AGAIN< PLEASE

Ill tell you  i really didn't need this right now. It's the same old shit, different day. Just when you think things are gonna calm down, maybe settle down, etc, havoc starts up again and it's sooooo recognizable.  It's the same as it always was. Maybe worse,So predictable, in every aspect of the situation. But you know what, the best thing for me to do right now and I'm so proud of myself for recognizing it, is to step back, far back, like miles back.  Not get involved. Do nothing. You know how they say sometimes doing nothing is the best thing to do. Well, that time has come, and that is rare for me. It's usually hard to bc i like to get involved in shit and help etc but nahhh i can see this fire from a mile away and the farther away i am, the less burnt i'll get. And i really don't need to be getting damaged mentally , emotionally, shit, in any way. I can see it happening and i'm putting a stop to it now. Taking control. by doing nothing. Isn't it great. I guess when and if the smoke blows over something that resembles what once was may be salvageable.  If not, what can i do. Not a damn thing. Gonna keep busy today around my room clean, paperwork, start a bullet journal, which i just discovered, oooh more crafts for me to do. I'll have fun. 
Hugs T.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

The Latte Mommy: The good, the bad and the ugly.

The Latte Mommy: The good, the bad and the ugly.: Well i said goodbye to my car, my 03 explorer.  It had run its course and i needed money so i sent it to the salvage yard, kinda like heaven...

The good, the bad and the ugly.

Well i said goodbye to my car, my 03 explorer.  It had run its course and i needed money so i sent it to the salvage yard, kinda like heaven for cars. lol. I'll miss it but i have a nice new car so its all good.  I can't believe the kids just started school and tomorrow night is already back to school night. This should be very interesting as both of them are in high school so i'll literally have to be in two places at once! You  know usually the mom will go to one and the dad will go to the other, not happening. Every year i get really depressed at back to school night. I see moms and dads and it makes me miss Mike so  much. Every damn year it's the same feeling, it's so unfair that he can't be here to watch his kids in high school, he'd be so proud of them, like i am. I just have to believe that he is up there with me when i go, he's up there watching them in school , the good , bad and the ugly. 
At any rate, things are kinda quiet around here, i guess that's good, no drama. But it's also very lonely. Ill tell you, within a room full of people i'm lonely.  There is always an inner turmoil sitting there. Never just peace. I'm seriously thinking of starting yoga or meditating. I could join a class, or do it alone but it seems when you join a class you are more likely to commit yourself. I need to be taught how to shut my brain down, how to shut the negative thoughts down, and how to stop the hamster wheel.  There is always about 10 things stirring in my head. most of them are problems i need to solve. or that damn to do list that will never ever end let alone get smaller instead of longer every day.  I often wonder, do other people have these issues, or is it me, just me. I know a lot of people do but is there a group of people out there that is so happy or are they just so good at hiding it.  who knows. its their secret. Well i'm off right now to get moving on the to do list, stare at my calendar some more. etc. 
Luv T. 

Sunday, September 11, 2016

The Latte Mommy: You cant make someone change

The Latte Mommy: You cant make someone change: I'M getting really tired of all this bullshit , it's just so much anymore, i don't understand why the sun just won't shine o...

You cant make someone change

I'M getting really tired of all this bullshit , it's just so much anymore, i don't understand why the sun just won't shine over me. \Sure i've made some shitty decisions but i think i've made up for most of it. \i've tried at least.  
I would love to understand how people think its ok to give ultimatums when it comes to friends just because they feel threatened by them.. That's all it is, because if they were secure, and trusted their partner they would let them have all the friends in the world, guy girl, blue black purple. who cares. But no,ht  when they want you all to themselves  you know its a problem. its scary. where  is my choice , why isn't it up to me whom i befriend. 
You know, you go through life and meet a bunch of people, a lot come and go, rarely do any stay. You may find one , maybe one, that is honest, trustworthy and just an overall good person, and you are supposed to let them slip away because someone else is jealous or does not share your thoughts, yeah. I'm so over this , in the midst of all this inner turmoil i now have to deal with this. Why is it always something, why is it so hard, it's  not supposed to be hard. and your loved ones should see this and not pressure you and in the end try and make you make a decision on their terms, one they may regret. But let them go ahead and try and make your life miserable, only thing is, i've learned no can make me miserable but myself and those i let do it to me. And i'm not.
Enough for now\
Luv T. 

Friday, September 2, 2016

The Latte Mommy: Dropping back in.

The Latte Mommy: Dropping back in.: well not much has gotten better on this end, christ i havent blogged in forever yet i think i could just take off the same place i left it. ...