The Latte Mommy: is there peace within?

The Latte Mommy: is there peace within?: blogging is tricky, do you want to put all your stuff out there for scrutiny , do you really care. I mean the reason alot blog is to get it ...

is there peace within?

blogging is tricky, do you want to put all your stuff out there for scrutiny , do you really care. I mean the reason alot blog is to get it out, instead of bottling it up. But i guess you have to have a line, one which is hard not to cross.  Im tired, tired of thinking , tired of trying, tired of disappointment. Im really pissed too at life, that at 41 im so out of place, thrown to the wolves so to speak. No where to run, no where to hide. Being a single parent has changed alot, as much as i would love to crawl in a hole , i cant. I want to ignore all these problems but i dont just answer to myself , and there is no one to take half my pain, or shelter me. Im out there in the open. I just want some peace within myself for once.

The Latte Mommy: life changes

The Latte Mommy: life changes: I just turned 41 almost a month ago, and talk about mid life crisis lol. I really thought id already had one , if so then  this is a continu...

life changes

I just turned 41 almost a month ago, and talk about mid life crisis lol. I really thought id already had one , if so then  this is a continuance i didn't expect nor invite. So many things have been happening to me, out of my control and up till now i think ive handled them very well. At this point now i've just about had it and im feeling really ugly (for lack of a better word) about it.  The thing is i dont know how to fix it anymore. And ive been bombarded with decisions to make, important ones that are life altering.  I mean sometimes im like ugh who cares, dont worry so much, life goes on, every day something is different, something happens, you cant always control things and the unexpected ALWAYS seems to come up when you think it is copacetic. I have so many forms to fill out, phone calls to take, appointments to make, and im starting to feel overwhelmed. As far as my ADHD goes, it can be stifiling at times.  With procrastination being one of my key problems, and with time being of the issue, im starting to feel the heat. And instead of getting the adrenaline, get going feeling, i get overwhelmed and stop dead in my tracks, i find many ways to put it on the back burner and cloud it with everyday mundane tasks i have to do. Reality of it sucks. It just brings me down. God if i sit here, i panic, because i have SOOOOO much to do, and really i have to do it all myself. Yeah instead of writing and complaining i could be doing, but when i tell you i cant write now, i cant. im just so disheartened by the things going on in my world, life seems so unfair but at the same time, i cant say that bc we are all healthy, and we have a roof over our heads ( for now lol) but things are worse in the world. Its just in our world, my world, things are very rough and its scary that im the one responsible for it all. Well enough of that, i gotta go. 
HUGS xoxo

The Latte Mommy: where do these feelings come from?

The Latte Mommy: where do these feelings come from?: Not quite sure where these moods come from, where do they originate, what makes them switch so suddenly, when im not even prepared. It reall...

where do these feelings come from?

Not quite sure where these moods come from, where do they originate, what makes them switch so suddenly, when im not even prepared. It really sucks. I just hate it when it goes from sad and blah to irritable and quick tempered , where is the happy part? Thats the mood that seems to fly by without me even knowing or recognizing it. I went shopping last night, that is one of my "high" feelings, impulsive yes, thrilling yes, but also short lived. 
Luckily im on call tomorrow, although sometimes a change of environment is what i need, i can even see how i self sabotage myself bc i know that for things to be chill and even keel i need to sleep right , eat right, and take care of myself- im eating right , just lately but sleep- not a chance. It just seems im the easiet one to ignore , i know i have to take care of me first so im trying to get the environment of my body just right. 
HUGS
XOXO

I hate sneaky liars, , cowards, wish they would just stop pretending ,
ITS SUCH A WASTE OF TIME!!!