Its so easy to give directions /advice/ instructions when you are looking at it from the outside in. When you dont have to be the one to do it consistently. And then again, we all have different styles of getting things done. I hate to be the one who is inside the box, being looked at,because i can see it almost as clearly as if i were looking at it straight on.
So all is well, on the outside, but really the are as good as they were before,. You know now exactly what u knew then. It all seemed ok, But now really, how does a tiger change its stripes, and so god damned fast and matter of factually, If that was the case, why didn't mind over matter prevail before? Really is there now someone to say, "its not happening again". How many times do u believe the promises? One last time, right. Its always one last time. How stupid do we sound, "but this time, if i find out anything, its over" LMAO. how stupid. Looking in it sounds ridiculous and guess what, looking out it feels the exact same way.
Then again, there is the non existential (sp) side of it. Like who cares, we could all die tomorrow, no harm, no foul. Words are words, actions are just that. It is so hard to determine what exactly is so important. Or is any of it? Live life, but while looking over our shoulder? waiting for the other shoe to drop, finding clues. I dont think that is it. It really boils down to the feeling of being taken for a fool, taken for granted, pushed aside. And then, POW, isnt the saying "you don't know what u got until its gone" a winner. And then it becomes the same old cliche, once you get it, the thrill of the chase is over. So sad we can pre-determine the path so easily. I suppose because in all reality, the more things change, the more they truly do stay the same.
HUGS.
T.
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