I think ive become too trusting again, to everyone. Seems i go through these stages where i feel how vulnerable ive become and decide to figure out what if anything is going on. I mean beyond what is right in front of me. I mean do people really think im that stupid. as stupid as they treat me, as stupid as they expect me to be. Like i cant count, or i cant hear, or i cant add 2 plus 2-in my world it equals 4, but others would have me believe i was wrong, or someone somewhere else was wrong. Im just so mentally drained with people playing with my emotions and my feelings. I think im loyal, to a fault. To the fault of getting my heart broken, by friends and men both. Its funny tho, the way i let them keep on thinking that im that blind. Duh, i see every god damn thing that goes on in front and behind me. I see it coming and going. They just dont realize what im going to do , what my plans are , with that information. Ha, let them wonder just a little, let them keep on thinking they got one over on me, and when they least expect it, Bam, there i am, with my eye on the prize, holding something so important, wow, its an explosive feeling, when you are getting played, its almost a feeling you feel void without. Enough said.