Sunday, April 29, 2012

when did everyone become so ungrateful

I am in a miserable mood. Its like my ADD is in full swing. I have 100 things i want to do at once. so many great ideas, then i attempt to start one of them and i become bored, so i think ok now on to the next  and that too, becomes no fun. So im left with a few started projects and a mess. even trying to organize my stuff turns ugly.
you know i hate getting caught up in the moment of things and then you look back at it and realize, it wasnt that big of a deal. I mean my kids and our wellbeing are the most important things to me. then comes my job, etc.  So when something bad happens to me, i let it bother me wayyy too much. I try and be strong, hold back the emotions that i used to not feel. I used to be icy, my family called me "the ice princess". ahh back in the day. Now every now and then i get all mushy and i cry at reruns of Grays Anatomy. and daydream of babies and little girls with pink bows in their hair. I love my boys!! So now sometimes the emotions sneak through and its so not worth it. People dont need to see me cry or sweat. because "this too shall pass"  . Anyway its hard to recover and put your pride back on. but after all, i know im a good nurse, i know im a good person, i dont need to feel small b/c of a few little things, that in the scheme of saving life, really have nothing to do with it, and its a shame people dont realize that anymore. Ungrateful!
enough bitching!! hey AT LEAST I HAVE A JOB, RIGHT? LOL