Monday, April 9, 2012

Theres a hurricaine forecasted!

what else can go wrong? When it rains it pours, hmm what other little sayings are there for "Im screwed , again"  It just makes me want to go crawl under a rock. Its my own fault, i f'd it up, big time. You know when your friends are like, "im so broke, i have no money" and you know they are exaggerating, and they are fine, well, im not one of those people. I am broke. not a dime. Lets just say, i paid the rent on Friday for $xy and the check didn't clear yet. I checked my online acct today, now i knew i didn't have alot of money but i just checked it and it has $xy- xyz. Get it? Yeah right, im in the negative, in the red ($xyz).. So, if you can add, subtract, blah blah, you'll now realize that the rent check wont clear, well it will clear, but i will also pay a nice $105.oo overdraft fee to my f'd up bank. Yeah and then i have nothing left and i just got paid Friday, not to be paid again for 2 weeks. Hmm , ok. now what, what ingenious idea can i come up with this time. I already did this last pay, and its worse before it gets better. Like i said, my fault. i forgot to put my vacation time in when i was off, and my manager oh so friendly like, didn't care to notice that i was getting paid for 8 of the 48hours per pay that i work. What does she think im Trump and don't need to be paid. Its not her job but really, thanks! 

So as i sit here and cry (sorry, but i cant help it)  Then of course i go into to the "why me, why cant i be taken care of? Why wasn't i taken care of when i was left alone to raise 2 boys alone, did i say alone?  Was i really dismissed, , turned away, untrusted  or overlooked that easily. It would seem i would be a priority being im alone with the boys. im so tired of trying, of fighting , of figuring out all of life's problems.  I just want to be happy, or content, something other than i am, but like i said, when it rains it pours and its a hurricane out there. I just need some shelter, or even an umbrella.