Cleaning cleaning cleaning, thats all ive been doing, but it seems nothing is clean enough. I wish i could clean out my head, of all the bad memories ive accumulated. I saw this show on mtv last night "catfish" . It was pretty good, it was about being deceived online by people pretending to like you, and tell you lies about themselves, just for fun. Pretending to be a different person with this great life. Then these guys investigate the person and they take the person to go meet their "online love". This one turned out that it was a girl pretending to be some great guy!! She had been bullied in school and it just felt good to bully others.
I was watching it and loving it and then i got really sad b/c it just reminds me that some of us, maybe me lol, are just too trusting and giving and put their heart out their. And we get played, not just online but in person. Esp when we are at our most vulnerable . That is when they close in on you. So i turned it off. Like i said, i wish i could clean out these bad memories i keep in my heart and head. But it seems that there is no amount of magic cleaner out there to do that, at least not now.