You cant get blood from a stone, or can you?

Ill tell you, if its not raining then its f*cking pouring, excuse my French. I thought by now this black cloud that is hovering over me would be gone. Ive suffered enough and had enough bad "karma" for all of us and then some. I seriously don't know why, im not a bad person, actually i think im too kind and giving sometimes.  Id say for the past 4 years or so, its just been one thing after another, never letting up. Every time something remotely good happens, im sure its gonna be sunny. WRONG and WRONG again. Its sad because all of this turmoil and discord in my life is basically due to the closest ones to me. I keep getting stung by the same bee. Even as I keep my distance thinking that's the answer, they sneak up on me.  I am glad now tho because my boys are 12 and 15 now and they are all I have. We are all each other has as far as "Family" and blood.  They are old enough now to see the shit that goes on, old enough to know its not me, im not the instigator, i don't meddle in peoples lives, DEEP in their lives just because they have a stick up their ass. LOL. I'm sure my grandparents , and my aunt , are up in heaven looking down and saying "Welcome to our lives, told you it was shitty" LMAO. I miss them so much. I have a ton to do, and i mean a ton, and somehow come up with enough money to pay my rent and electric before i get booted or in the dark! Cant get blood from a stone, but im gonna try!!
HUGS 
xoxo T.

Dont grow up so fast, little one.

what to do , what to do. My 11 year old has the mind of a 30 something yr old man. He has always been ahead , its always felt like you were talking to an adult, not a child, Normal childhood games and experiences never really applied to him, and now he is realizing it. He worries so much, about money, about me, about life. Its as if he is carrying the weight of the world on his little shoulders. My boys have been through alot of different and hard things in their lives. They are good boys and im so proud of them. I know it must be partly my fault, b/c how would he be worrying about money if he hadnt heard me complain about not having any. He often feels guilty for nothing. I just want him to have more self confidence and i try to instill it. I want to take his worries away, he has his whole life to worry. ive tried getting him a therapist before, but he clams up when he gets there, he doesnt talk about that stuff, i guess i need to find someone he really can bond with. Im trying my best, but i cant fix everything, even as a parent. Guess ill be searching for a new therapist in the morning. Poor kid. so cute,