Fall is where my memories are

I cant wait for fall/winter. I love that time of year, with the yellow/orange/red leaves on the trees and on the ground , and the crisp chill in the air - how you can see your breath when its cold. I guess right prior to Halloween i start to feel it. There have been many a year i even tried to rush the holiday by putting out my Halloween decorations really early like Sept. lol. I think ill stick to Oct 1st this year, Thats right around the corner anyway. I dont know what we will do this year. The boys are 11 and 14 and even last year they really werent that interested in trick or treating. I made them go out with some friends of ours, it wasnt bad but it certainly wasnt the same as it used to be.
Every time i think of Halloween i think of me and mike dressing the boys up, I remember N was a clown one year, C was a transformer and when he was a baby, i dressed him up as a little duck. He looked so cute. We lived in an awesome neighborhood with a bunch of couples our age with children the same age. I mean like us and 7 other couples. It was so fun and i should have appreciated it more then but i have the memories. One of us would take the kids around the cul de sac and the other - usually me - would hand out candy at the door. ah the memories. Thinking of that, i cant believe still that mike isnt here and i get pissed at the unfairness of it all. I wish the boys remembered all those times, i guess thats what im here for! 
Anyway, i cant wait for fall. 
xoxo

Somehow, a lil note.

Still feeling kinda crappy - oh well, ill feel better tomorrow, . The boys have to leave me this weekend, so im sad already! I'll be working the whole time, i just hate missing them. We are all each other has. My stomach has really been bothering me, i dont know if i have reflux or just some of the vitamens are bothering me, i dont usually have a full stomach to take anything on. HM maybe its my lifestyle catching up with me. Maybe its getting to be time to turn my schedule around- back from upside down. I was reading an article about self sabotage. I didnt finish it, - i cant finish anything anymore- very distractable. Anyway, it looked good, i;ll let you know. I hope its not raining tomorrow b/c i wanted to take the boys to Linvilla to get pumpkins and mums. That would be nice. Considering Halloween is Monday!
Thats me for you. last minute, procrastinator, but i get it done- SOMEHOW lol.

My tree stays up till Feb.

Seems to me that i havent been very interesting lately, well let me think of something interesting to tell you. hmmm, see i dont lead the most interesting life at this point. I mean there isnt much going on that would interest you. still have alot of junk surrounding me that i need to clean. lots of chores that are never ending. Im still watching Greys anatomy, im now on season 3- i get bummed out knowing one day ill be done. tHEN what.
Its great, its so chilly out and i have my fireplace going. Toasty, hey never thought of it, but maybe i could make smores there lol. Speaking of, ive got to get to Linvilla. I need pumpkins and i need mums. Ive got to get in the spirit. Ive got to find the rest of my halloweeen decorations. Ive Always been a decorater for the holidays, I put out stuff really early. I start to listen to xmas music, as soon as it starts, november usually. Ive kept my xmas tree up until feb once lol. Once the holidays come it feels so nice. I guess since Mike died, holidays are different, not so homey, toasty, kind of empty. But ill try, ill go look for my halloween stuff right now!!!