Random post!!!

I feel like i should be typing something, but i have no idea what to type. Nothing is coming to mind, nothing is popping up, standing out lol. And you know nothing is on tv because im watching Teen Mom on mtv!! Im kinda bored. Only worked one day this weekend. was on call the other. So, kinda bored over here. I could/should be reading and writing for my sons school start (just diagnosed with ADD at the end of last school year) and this year im writing some rules out, since he goes to private school and they dont have to have an IEP. They will accommodate your child tho, the best they can. So ive been researching all summer and i have a list together.
Ok, about an hour has gone by ... im back. I still dont have much to say lol.  Im really getting nervous about school and re-adjusting my routine. Ive gotten to this habit for the past 9 months. Its hard.  I mean i dont have to get it right straight off, as long as i get them to school and then im awake and ready to go when they get home then its all good. I'll be fine, i'll adjust as needed. I think maybe ill have a sleep out night with the boys tomorrow night- last night they can stay up late!! Movies and popcorn in the living room and they can use their sleeping bags, and hopefully leave my couch to me!! Probably will wake to a foot in my face lol. The boys will like that, and it will be our little sendoff party for the end of summer.
Im not really tired at all! Well i had gotten alot of sleep after NOT getting alot of sleep! I wonder if i slept right, id be happier, ya know , getting into a routine and pattern and making my body healthy and happy . I dont know, its hard to find out exactly how much sleep i need. But ill tell you one thing, I can sleep! Problem is ill wake up, say 6-7 hrs later and a normal person would just get up, not me, i make myself go back to sleep and then ill sleep like another 6-7 hours. Once im asleep, im out. I certainly dont need 12-14hrs of sleep per night. There is no rhyme or reason, my routine doesnt change much day to day. I should have a stable bedtime.  AHH well ill figure it out lol
Night for now!!

Its not a good day!

Can i just go crawl under a rock today and be invisible?  I know, not! But its just been that kind of day, the kind where nothing is really gonna make it quite right and you are going to have that pit in your stomach no matter what!  I guess it all started when i opened facebook and was reminded that today is my deceased husbands birthday, he died last July and he would have been 43 today.  I basically spent every birthday since he was 21 with him, well his 41st he was in florida with the boys and he never made it to 42. Anyway, i knew it was his birthday but just being slapped in the face with it all day made it worse. I know its just another day but ya know. My best friend is gone. I miss him so much.
So i cried a bit and the day just has seemed to drag and ive been mellow and gloomy and plain old shitty!! I saw my psychiatrist today and we talked about him and how i feel like i should be fine but im not. At least i got a good talk in today. My mood has been shifting down. i feel a little depression coming on. Im not really into cleaning and researching etc, like i have been. Sleeping a bit, but then again, im back on the Prozac and all that other shit is out of my system, so im not irritable, im just back to where i left off on the prozac, not really happy, just here! but without the irritability which is a plus. My doc put me on a new med called deplin, i think. Its high dose folate, which is supposed to make your neruotransmitters work better lol, make your anti depressant work better. I guess we will see, at least it has no ill side effects.
So, ive got a lot of shit to do this coming week and the next, school starts in 3 and i cant wait for the routine and schedule of it all to be back in place. I thrive on routine and ive had none all summer. I guess its my own fault but i think that is part of what has been going on with me these past couple months. In fact i know it is. So heres to routine, and to tomorrow- another day, just not today!
HUGS