Alone but on the inside,

I hate the strange feeling that has come over me, it often does for no reason at all. Its just a sense of melancholy , sadness, loneliness. Its like i could be with many people but i'm still alone. Its not a good feeling at all. Once it sets in its very hard to shake too.  \i mean good things have been happening but i'm almost waiting for the bottom to drop or the black cloud to return,  I'M trying so hard to be everything to everyone. b/c everyone needs something different from me. It gets tiring.  and then, who is there to give to me, I mean who can actually understand and make me feel at ease when i feel like this, hmm. I wish.  Also confusing, i don't want to sleep but i don't want to be awake, i'm so confused. 
I just thought id drop in and say hi, vent a little and maybe break up the monotony going on over here. I just want to feel better inside is all.
Luv T. 

Dropping back in.

well not much has gotten better on this end, christ i havent blogged in forever yet i think i could just take off the same place i left it. Life pretty much sucks right now. I mean some things are getting better but at the same time, some things are getting worse, why cant my worlds collide and make it just a nice peacful happy place to live is beyond me. It just seems there are more things to worry about anymore and im running out of solutions.  Im not about to tell all but ALOT of shitty things have happened to me over the past year yet i keep on kicking. trying to claw my way out . Slowly but surely im trying, cant say i dont have a set back every other day but im still trying.   I cant give up, i owe too many people good things. like my kids, i owe them great things, and great things will come .  
Lately ive had sooo much to do and im just getting really overwhelmed when i even think about it,maybe its cause i put alot off and now its time to catch up. My own fault. So im trying to catch up while keeping ahead of the game. seems like alot always happens at once, then its a dull void.  my brain is tired , fried, confused. Its probably the ADHD, not letting me finish shit, moving on before im finished the last project, cause i get an idea and i move on it. leaving all the other shit in the dust. gotta work on that. 

I cant believe the boys are so old now, god where does the time go, its scary, thats why i gotta do good things, they wont be my little boys forever. well they arent little now but you know.

So this was just a drop back in blog, i gotta work on my to do list as we speak, ill write better tommorow. 


Luv T./

The Latte Mommy: Playing around on the web!!

The Latte Mommy: Playing around on the web!!: Wow, has anyone seen, or used the IFTTT iphone app, it is so awesome ( i know im old, im using the word awesome lol). Anyway, it is a great ...

Playing around on the web!!

Wow, has anyone seen, or used the IFTTT iphone app, it is so awesome ( i know im old, im using the word awesome lol). Anyway, it is a great app. You use "recipes" by using apps together. Its hard to describe, but if you go look up the app, free BTW, you wont be sorry, Ive been playing with it all night and im sure ive only hit the tip of the iceberg.  Of course by playing lol, ive avoiding my duties as "housewife" lol. Real housewives of West Chester over here. Boy ive got enough drama to fill a few episodes. Not necessarily in my town or neighborhood but definitely in my life, so its all good. 

That would be so interesting really, to get to make my own RH series. Im sure alot of women could relate to it, it would make me feel better knowing they could!! If you think about it, really i would despise cameras following me around, esp when im doing dumb shit, which is often. Like talking to myself, and answering myself is even better. Im using my new laptop i got. Its an ACER. Really not a bad one, ive never used an acer before. I prefer HP anyday but this one was on sale bigtime, and i only need it for my stuff. Not big projects , i have the home computer all in one HP for that stuff. This one is just for me. So im trying it out last few days, and like i said, not too bad. Well back to IFTTT, stands for If that then this. lol. Check it out. oh and say a prayer for a former co worker of mine. I dont know the circumstances but she just lost her 23 year old son the other day and the funeral was this morning. I cant imagine the loss of a child, so my heart is with her. Thanks 

HUGS xo

T. 

The Latte Mommy: Busy times, happy times.

The Latte Mommy: Busy times, happy times.: Damn, i havent posted in a long time, i guess i didnt like shady people reading my blog and then trying to use it against me, so i cant deci...

Busy times, happy times.

Damn, i havent posted in a long time, i guess i didnt like shady people reading my blog and then trying to use it against me, so i cant decide to make it private or not. I mean its just my thoughts so really no one should have shit to say about it, if they do, they can say it to my face is all. lol, didnt think so!! All this shit going on, makes me wonder how i keep my sanity, if its not one thing its another. mostly its just the fact that i dont know why i cant just live my life in peace and quiet. I dont know why everyone , who doesnt know me, feel like they should be judging me or why they would think they know anymore than me. Walk a mile or even half a mile lol in my shoes and then go on and comment. I think some people may forget their younger years. I really am not one to judge either. I take people for what i see etc. If i dont know them i dont make assumptions, i dont generally call people dirtbags lol that ive never met before hahah. I could call people lots of names lmao, but i dont. Oh well, maybe i should. Anyway, im trying to stay sane in this crazy world put in front of me, the boys are doing great,, im always happy for that. Their uncle is so great to them. its such a help.  Mike would be so proud of how he stepped up, he is really so non judgemental and just a help, mentally and physically to them.  I feel so bad for kids that only have one parent. i mean mine would die to have their father back, and some kids dont even have loving parents to take care of them in all ways possible. Deadbeat moms and Dads, its so rough. Ah so is life. Im still going strong in school, on my way to my masters, love it.  We are really doing great despite the chaos surrounding us, makes us feel good to help. We always appreciate all the help we ever had, so giving back is no problem, we are just like that, good people with big hearts, and im glad ive taught my children that quality. They see others not acting that way and question it, i just tell them, some people are just narcissistic
, only involved in their own happiness and in crushing others glory. Really just people with no self confidence who dont know how to give. Losers all the way around. Oh well, back to school work, chat later!@!
Luv T.

Tightrope

With all the shit going on lately  and all I've managed to remain relatively calm and in control. I'll tell you finances really can reek havoc
It just seems that lately my mind is elsewhere. I kinda checked out and I'm starting to see the effects of that now  the effects of me kind of checking out or taking care of shit half assed .  And now it feels like I keep myself busy busy busy. Spring cleaning A LOT. And when I stop for a minute my head starts to spin with thoughts of how I need to be doing so many other things to keep my household going as it has been. The boys have been great , I really would love to find something g special to do with them. It's very hard to keep a balance. It's like walking a tightrope !