Money SUCKS!!!

I hate money, its the source of all evil. lol, really i love money, when i have it. Lately i dont know whats been going on but my money is disappearing quicker than i can get it. Its spent before my check gets direct deposited. I know i messed up my paycheck quite a few months ago, and it does take a long time, for those who dont know anything about money problems lol, it takes a long time to get it back together and catch up.  Then that leads to depression, and in my case, that is so true bc spending money is my high, it makes me so happy, and the only money ive been spending is for gas in my car, no happy dances been done at the local gas station either!! My friends at Starbucks are forgetting what i look like and my mouth is watering for my latte!! And i didnt get this way- poor- by overly spending. Its for other reasons,  i can quite say but lets just say bc my heart is bigger than my bank account lately!
 So i havent been around so much, you think id of been here to bitch more lol, but when i get depressed i tend to withdrawl from the world. Its not a good thing , I mean i have been working alot extra too , ugly hours haha, but its worth it. I have to, for my kids sake. Its a shame when their father died, he left them money but its in the hands of someone else, someone who doesnt seem to care if we have electricity or not, boy i thought that fell under the catagory of health, safety, etc. I know Mike wouldnt want this, what is gong on, no matter what the reason, he wouldnt want to see us struggling so hard, and to see the boys sad that im having a hard time, they can see it, read it in my demeanor, oh well. so i go on, the single latte mommy, doing what i have to to make it better for us - my family. 
HUGS xoxo

Keep going, on my own!

I will say one thing about nursing,as a profession it totally gives you a real live view of life. Ive seen over the last 16 yrs ive been a nurse so many many things. Too many. Ive taken care of the sickest people and seen how quickly things can change , in the blink of an eye. So many people dont know what to expect , families, and to tell you the truth, no one knows until you have to do it. Thats why its so great when we are appreciated for our work, both physically and emotionally. The burden some of us carry, when we leave our work, is alot to handle. Ive learned to keep it at work, i have to. Its very hard but as long as you can keep it seperate, to a degree, its doable. 
anyway on the home front, its the same, i still feel very overwhelmed with all life has to give me. Its so hard being just me, in charge of everything, everyone. People dont realize it, how overwhelming it can be. Thats why its nice to stick together. ive recently met a few good people, who know, like me that its great to have good friends stay close, in good and bad times. In the short time of meeting them, they have proven to be real friends, knowing when im down, a short talk on the phone, or a meet for coffee is all , it makes the world of difference. Having someone to just vent to, and listen to is a good feeling. We just help each other, since we are going through similar things in life.
I have lots to do, bills to pay, appointments to make,= as usual. life goes on....
HUGS

Lets try this again!

Hi everyone, lets try this again, with no rude comments please! As i stated before, if you dont like it, dont read it. And for sure, dont comment when you have no clue what you are talking about. So there, starting fresh.
Well it really snowed, not alot but alot for SE pa. We rarely see snow anymore. Its that global warming , so they say. I miss the old winters, going out to play in the snow, careless days. But it is pretty. I didnt even touch my car yet. I guess i should before i try and drive it. Maybe some nice soul dusted it off for me, doubt it haha. You know its been very hard trying to get my body back on a regular schedule. It still wants to be up at night, and sleep during the day. And the sleep i get during the day is wonderful, just as good as any nighttime sleep. Ive tried everything. I mean i do it, obviuosly but my body always wants a nap and then im up at night. I gotta work harder to change it, i dont mind it all that much but i want to be alive when everyone else is. 
Ive always had issues where im just exhausted, so tired from nothing. Like a weight is holding me down and i CANT possibly do anything , normal stuff. My bloodwork has never been bad, although i havent had any in like 10 yrs lol, but ive always been this way. Then when i get energy i use it like crazy, all at once. i never can figure out why i get so drained from nothing. I do think that the longer i sleep the worse i am, but i always thought my body must need it if i sleep that much. Who knows. But it stinks. its hard to describe the tiredness i get.  My brain is ready to go, my body cant cooperate. Im thinking i should start reg exercising again. I do here and there but nothing regular. Besides being good for me, i hear it does bring up your energy level. A body in motion stays in motion! So i better get moving lol. 
xoxo T.

Can we do it?

I often wonder who is visiting my blog. Its just strange how many different people get here and read my stuff. I love it but i wish there were more comments or followers, everyone likes to feel wanted lol.  So im still dealing with my new diagnosis of arthritis. It just sucks being so young and having a disabling illness. It is controllable but it doesnt get better. Well i guess i should add it to the list. I really need to follow up on so many things with my health. Being the only parent now, i should be making it a priority. I was always scared to find out things that were wrong with me, id rather just deal and not know but now i have to take more responsibility for my health and do the right thing. So i have to go to the dentist, get my eyes checked ( i need glasses), get bloodwork done, start exercising more, eat right, blah blah blah. Its hard to stay in good health lol
I wish i had more good things to say , i really do. I try. ive found a great website, and its all about being more positive . well its really a blog called "The missing piece" http://guideusto.blogspot.com/. Its wonderful, and i wish i could print it all out and make a scrapbook or something out of it. I'd have the boys read it too, we all need a little optimism and learning how to be happy. I know my pessimism ( that ive had all my life) must rub off on them, shit it rubbed off from my parents to me. Im not always like that but the kids pick up on all kinds of stuff. Smart children i have lol.  i encourage everyone to check out that blog i mentioned. It may just give you a little hint of joy. Maybe i will make a scrapbook with it, since i do better with colors and patterns and flashy glittery things lol. And then i can read a piece of it all the time. Well the kids and i can together. Ill let you know how it turns out. Ill even take a picture of the finished project. With my ADHD i wouldnt count on seeing it finished too soon lol, maybe ill post a little at a time haha.
HUGS 
T.