Shopping isnt doing it!

You know its bad, when shopping isnt even doing it for me!! God, im depressed. Here i am, where i always am, ass backwards, awake while all is asleep. In my own little world, alone. Im realizing that i dont even have any good girlfriends , not even ones i havent met, in the online world where you can always make a best friend. Not me.  Im alone. Im always alone. Alone in my happiness along with my sorrow.  I dont know what im doing wrong, well obviously everything, nothing is right. Nothing is ever right. Its black and white, back to that. the gray i thought id found is gone. And shopping always makes me happy. WTF.. Damn i guess its gotten that bad.