today has been good, although i got a late start, 1pm, haha. well granted i didnt fall asleep unitl like 4/5 am. But i was awakened by my phone, i really never hear it when im sleeping but i got lucky. It was my shrink returning my call. All these new meds ive been trying in attempt to elevate my mood are not cutting it. All they do is give me nasty side effects. So i called him to tell him i cant take it anymore and i want to try my prozac again. I didnt think it was working but now i think it did more than i thought. It evened me out. Ive been very irritable, short tempered and grouchy lately. And i havent felt like that in forever. So he is reordering it. YEAHHH . Ahh to feel somewhat normal again, i cant wait.
Anyway after i woke, got my good news, and got my coffee, i started organizing the crap in my "area" of the living room. Got alot accomplished as far as organizing. Things are back in place. I feel good. Right now, im actually a little bored, that is rare. But, we are going out to dinner soon with the family to celebrate my sons 13th birthday!! Time flies. So that will occupy some time. I think i just get lonely as i dont really have alot ( barely any) girlfriends that i talk with everyday , that i confide in, laugh with, trust. Thats sad, but i dont know. I have alot of "friends" aquaintances , i get along with everyone. Im kind, helpful, funny, etc but keeping close friends is just difficult for me. Maybe i talk to much. i wish i knew. I could learn and change but i dont. I just keep trying. Anyway im lonely.
what i did decide is that im going to try and exercise. Its been awhile, but i used to do it all the time and i know it works wonders for the mood. I wanna try zumba. I cant just walk on a treadmill , etc. Its too boring for my ADD mind. I think at least zumba will keep me moving and not bored. So maybe ill look into joining the Y. Now thats something positive for the whole family!!!